Inertia
by Dontmezwitme
Summary: Mei and her brothers Xiang and Yong Soo attempt to survive the city that raised them.
1. desperate and broken

_People always say that it's not the fall that kills you. It's the landing._

_When people hit the ground, their body dies-but what of their minds? They have a few seconds of complete incoherent panic-surely when the mind is gone, the body is nothing but a shell?_

* * *

><p>A few bubbles of dreams bursting against her mind, Mei came to consciousness slowly. "What…" she murmured, and pushed her bangs off her forehead. It was Saturday, she remembered; the hump day. She rolled over and bunched her blankets up around her shoulders so that she could face away from the window and thus home in on the only warm spot in the bed: Yong Soo.<p>

It wasn't that they were a couple, or together or anything of that sort; that would imply that they had the _energy _to do anything remotely romantic, and the last time something interesting happened in this place was when a rat gnawed on the power line and subsequently cut off the heating system in the entire building (mind you, Mei had suspicions about that rat. It had put the expensive heating down for days and the landlord _had_ strutted about with an extra spring in his step.)

She didn't want to get up. Life sucked and then you died; so why should she have to wake up and _actually_ give a shit? Why should she try and do anything at all?

Well, Mei reasoned with herself, if I've woken up before four then I can doze for a bit. She cheered up at the thought.

Blearily, she reached over her foster brother's sprawled body with limbs of lead to pick up the alarm clock, whose alarm had stopped working years ago and now only kept time. Its chipped, plastic face read four-thirty-two.

"Hello, glorious world." rumbled Yong Soo, woken by Mei's movements. "And hello, less-glorious sister. Time to get up?"

Mei made a noncommittal grunt. She sloped out from under the covers and stretched, cat-like, against the bed. Her muscles popped and stretched as her bones shifted back into place. It was almost the entire room, the bed; and that wasn't saying much, since the apartment they were in was smaller than a phone booth. Yong Soo and Mei could only afford the two-room deal: thus, they were forced to sleep on the same ratty mattress.

"Well, aren't you a ray of sunshine." grinned Yong Soo, bouncing on the balls of his feet. His brown eyes crinkled in mirth when she fell back onto the bed with a groan and twisted up into the sheets again. From her view her upside-down roommate now seemed to become impatient. His sharp, clever face could be read like an open book.

"Come on, we have to go to wooork!" he whined, prodding her with one foot before retreating into the bathroom. It was a mark of how thin the walls were that Mei could still hear him tinkering around, trying to get the tap to flow by breaking the ice around it. She opened one tired dark eye, and guessed that it was okay for her to start changing. This consisted of Mei stripping down swiftly and pulling on her other set of clothes-shapeless black t-shirt, shapeless jeans and almost too-big sneakers that had seen much better days. She glued the soles back on with the last of their superglue and was shrugging on her threadbare hoodie when Yong Soo emerged from the bathroom.

"My turn." She darted past him like she usually did in the mornings and locked the door. Another day, another morning sharing a bathroom with your brother. Her eyes slid closed and she bent her head to rest on the cool (freezing, actually) wall. It had been six months since she had graduated high school, six months since she had failed to get the scholarship. And Mei had had no other backup plans, and near nothing save the clothes on her back, her family and a deep ache in her very bones.

She inspected Yong Soo when she got out of the bathroom. He was pale and too skinny to be healthy-and when no one was looking, he let his feet drag. She knew she was no better, when they ran out of the building to catch the bus; he looked as haggard as she felt.

So it was two weary siblings that managed to collapse in the bus seats, huddled for warmth (because this was exactly the kind of bus you don't catch in the middle of winter).

"This is just great." muttered Yong Soo. "Not only do I have to share an apartment with my little sister, I have to act like we're together too. I'll never get a girlfriend!"

Mei rolled her eyes. "Come on, Soo, you're being ridiculous."

He looked from the window to her face, hope shining. "You mean, you think that someday I'll-"

"-die alone? Regrettably, yes, but I'll say something nice at your funeral."

He punched her shoulder when she started snickering. "Mei, I'm serious! Jeez, you're so cold," he moped, splaying one of his hands on his forehead, "shooting down your only brother-"

"-_one_ of my brothers, we're not even related-"

"-fine, then, your _favorite _brother so quickly and mercilessly! Oh, it cannot be endured!" he clutched at his heart melodramatically, making her snort. The bus was at a red light and the driver looked back at them in the same 'I-can't-believe-you-two-live-together' face that he wore every time they got on his bus.

"Could you keep it down, please?" he asked irritably. "I'm trying to drive here."

"Good bus driver, we shall do our best to contain ourselves." responded Yong Soo grandly. Mei muffled another snort of laughter as they rolled to their stop. Being the only people on the bus, they always made sure to tip the poor guy for his trouble (it was probably the only reason why he let them on his bus). And then they were back out again in the freezing winter day and skidding on the icy pavement.

"See ya, and remember we're having New Year's lunch at Xiang's place today!" she yelled over her shoulder. Yong Soo gave a wave out of the corner of her eye and darted across the street to where the KFC was across the road.

Phase one of her day: complete.

Fun part of her day: also complete.

Or…so she thought.

* * *

><p>It was five-ten when she burst into the store, out of breath and with a horrible feeling she was late. The girl who worked the night shift gave her a grateful smile as Mei ran into the changing room to get into uniform. It was pretty cold in her uniform but thankfully the store proper was heated, and Mei gave a relaxed sigh as she took her place behind the register, the other girl already walking to her apartment. She gave a cheerful wave, which the girl returned.<p>

The tea eggs were stewing nicely, a few lazy prods with a spoon enough to get them turning gently. The sausages, boiler vats full of other food, and refrigerators were working well too. After going through all the appliances (and checking the stock) Mei gazed longingly at the rice balls. She couldn't eat any-that would be a waste of money, and besides, she was going to have lunch today-but she still couldn't stop herself from thinking about the tantalizing, in-her-reach riceballs.

Her first customer came in just when she started to salivate. With a startled "meep!" she shook her head to dislodge her thoughts and painted what she desperately hoped was a welcoming expression on her face. "Welcome!" she chirped.

"Mei!" exclaimed the man, and she could feel her heart sink deep down into her toes. It was one of her old classmates. Damn.

"Hey, Al!" she replied warmly, while inwardly cursing. She'd thought that all her classmates had graduated and went on to college out of town. Trust Al to be the only one to stay. She could feel her face warm up as he strolled over, grinning _just _like he used to. His hair was still tousled wheat-gold and his features still had that sort of _openness_ that made people instinctively trust him.

Yes, out of all the people that had to show up and see that she was a failure, it had to be the one guy she _really _did not want to see: Alfred fucking Jones.

"So can I have a tea egg, please?" he asked, nonchalantly leaning on the counter.

She blinked, before springing up. "Of course, sir." she said, sweetly almost. Mei hid her burning face by stirring the eggs so that they wouldn't over-cook.

"'Sir'? Who are you and what've you done to Mei?" he joked, taking up a pair of tongs and joining her in getting one for himself.

"Enjoy it while it lasts, beef-brains." she retorted.

Al just smiled inanely (and no, her heart did _not_ just skip a beat) "Now _that_ is what I'm talking about."

Mei tapped in the order (tea egg-quantity, one) and, keeping up the façade, said brightly "Now your total comes to this," while tapping the screen.

He fumbled with his wallet and extracted the coins, handing them over. She put them in, flicked a few buttons on the bulky register and printed out the receipt.

"Here you are, sir!" she said, holding out his change while bowing. "Thank you for shopping at our store! Please come and throw your money at us again!"

He burst into laughter while taking the change. "Thanks, Mei, you're awesome. Wanna meet up sometime?"

Another customer had come in and was browsing the store; she was going to cop it from her boss if he saw that she was loitering when a piece of money was going around the shop without being spoon-fed.

Screw her boss.

"Sure. I get off at six, so I'll meet you for dinner at…?" she trailed off, uncertain.

"That place down the street, with the really good ice cream. My treat, so don't you dare bring your wallet!" he said, grinning again. Then he seemed to drop the swagger for a second and said, sincerely, "It was nice seeing you again."

Mei felt another blush creep up her face. "You too."

Her other customer-a balding businessman-coughed irritably. She gave an apologetic smile to Al as he walked out of the store and listened to the man drone endlessly on about how he _needed_ a spicy-seaweed salmon riceball, and _would_ that be too hard to manage because he did _so_ need a kick in the morning and you look like _such_ a helpful girl?

Mei retreated into the storeroom to get the flavor and when she came back out again, the man had changed his mind and now _absolutely _needed tuna, thank you _very_ much for trying to find it but he just needed this one, _thank_ you.

But when he came to the register he dithered and thought, _well_, if he's going to have something salty he _must_ have a drink.

A headache was coming on by the time he left, twenty minutes later. But, happily enough, her job went by uneventfully for the rest of her shift, and at twelve noon on the dot she bid good-bye to her dusty corner and gladly shucked off her uniform. The boy who replaced her had a dour face and mournfully said farewell.

Mei ran across the street to the fast-food place where Yong Soo was and waited impatiently for him to get off work. Her shift usually ended five minutes before his unless he was busy and busy he was, because the store was entertaining a birthday party. The birthday boy was oddly familiar to her, but she didn't dwell upon it as Yong Soo burst out of the kitchen and they both started walking to the bus stop.

"How're you?" she asked as they waited for a bus. Yong Soo wiggled his eyebrows.

"Well, _I'm_ fine. Did you get a visitor today?" he poked Mei's cheek as she flushed a brilliant red and swatted his hand away. "Because I happened to bump into a _very_ familiar someone."

She stiffened. Of _course._ Old acquaintances did not simply waltz into the very same shop you were working at six months after you graduate.

Your idiot brother directed them to you.

"Im Yong Soo, I hate you so, so much right now." she growled. He chuckled nervously as they filed onto the bus, running all the way to the back to escape her rage.

"Hey, I thought you liked Al!" he protested. "You kept _mooning_ over him in Biology-" _Thwack!_

Mei slammed her backpack into his side, making him whimper in pain. She sat beside him with a thud and dared-_dared-_ him to say something. To his credit Yong Soo finally got the hint and held his tongue for a whole ten minutes.

"So did he ask you out?"

She took a deep, satisfying breath and said, while getting off the bus, "He invited me out to dinner at the ice cream place-" here Yong Soo opened his mouth-"as _friends,_ Soo. Friends. Platonic. Non-romantic. At. All."

"Aw, my widdle sis got a daaaate! Nice goin'! I knew that having his phone number would come in handy someday!" He gave Mei a one-armed hug, even though they were in public, and wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. "Oh, and to think just this morning you were being your usual, prickly self-ow, haha, Mei that hurts-"

The girl walked away from her foster brother and started walking up the stairs to get to Xiang's apartment. After rubbing his injured stomach Yong Soo followed behind, dashing up the steps and flying past Mei completely, near knocking her over in the process and only grabbing the stair banister helped her from falling. A few muttered expletives under her breath later, she arrived panting at the fifth floor of the small building, the tall man hopping from foot to foot in impatience and jabbing at the doorbell.

Shaking her head, Mei opened the door with the spare key Xiang had given her-he didn't trust Soo with it, that would just be _asking_ for trouble- and entered the relatively spacious rooms her other, blood-brother had.

Xiang was still at school-he was three years her junior, and just starting his sophomore year of high school. He went to the same school Mei had gone to; but he couldn't live with them, since there simply wasn't enough space (and all the apartments they had gone to had point-blank refused to take on _three_ penniless loafers, let alone two) so they had to split up and live two streets away from each other.

She smiled brightly (if without energy) as Xiang poked his head in from the small kitchen and said that lunch was ready.

"Thanks, bro!" she called, seating herself at his low table.

Xiang had enough rice to feed an army-which would just be enough for Yong Soo. He also had some cheap salad-seaweed, pidan dofu (which was hard to scare up, which earned a whistle of approval from Mei), half a duck in a watery plum sauce (which was given to her from the girl who worked the night shift, after she heard Mei's stomach growling in the morning) and a trio of the piping hot sweet red-bean paste dumplings that had become part of their tradition for new year's.

The entire feast had been stockpiled for days, so nothing was really a surprise (save the pidan dofu; that was not only good quality but _fresh_, which was puzzling). Mei called the boys together and pressed Xiang down to sit. She cleared her throat and held out her hands.

Rolling his eyes, Yong Soo joined the little 'love-fest'.

"I hope that, for this year, we'll be able to eat tons of food, and set off as many fireworks as we can and finally," she concluded, "I hope that we'll still annoy and harass each other and stick together no matter what."

"And find love." piped up Yong Soo. This drew a frown from his foster sister, which Xiang watched with interest. However, the moment to ask questions passed just as it came and the food was getting cold.

It wasn't often that Mei, Xiang and Yong Soo got to eat such a large lunch, and as a result they sat for a good fifteen minutes after the dishes were washed glorying in the feeling of a filled stomach.

"This is the life," groaned Yong Soo. He picked his teeth clean one last time and sighed in pleasure. He kicked out his long legs on the sofa, where Mei had fallen asleep against his knee.

Xiang said little, as was his wont, but his self-satisfied smile was enough. He looked at the clock, lazily.

It was one-fifteen.

He whipped his head around and jumped on his sister. "Mei! Mei you have to go _now!_"

"Whu-what the- dammit, guys, it's one in the morning-" she turned over on her side, facing the sofa wall.

But, in a rare display of seriousness, Yong Soo tipped her out of the sofa and frog-marched her to the door. "Afternoon._ It's after-goddamn noon._"

"Oh. Oh _fuck_," she swore, tripping in her haste to get her shoes on.

Xiang was already writing away in his exercise books and the other two were out the door in three seconds flat-not a bad record, considering-and they _ran _down the stairs like madmen, notions like elevators thrust clean out of their heads and left somewhere in the land of ten minutes ago.

* * *

><p>Someone up there was on her side, because her boss was out (which was good news-Mr. Honda required everyone to be five minutes early) and Kim had covered for her brilliantly. Which was, of course, the entire problem-when one arrives, out of breath and forty-five minutes late to your job, one simply does not have the brain capacity to deal with whatever your friend comes up with.<p>

"Wow, coming to work when that sort of thing happens? You're brave, Mei." Belle, who had never really talked to her before, patted her hand in sympathy. Katyusha's eyes began to brim with tears.

"I-what?" she wheezed. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Kim beating a warpath through the well-wishers and drag her to the locker room.

But not before she caught the tail-end of a sentence "-her brother diagnosed with _cancer_, poor girl-"

Mei opened her mouth. She closed her mouth. She opened her mouth again and said, very quietly, "Kim-I-am-going-to-_kill-you_."

The taller girl bit her lip and turned away from Mei, making good her escape through to the tables.

Mei frowned; she changed quickly and followed Kim out the door. It was one thing telling people that your friend's brother had _cancer_; it was quite another to then avoid her like the plague. She really hated it when people gave her short shrift and her temper was _not_ improved by the fact that she was in a maid costume.

A second-hand maid costume.

Surprisingly, people paid well for young girls to dress up as servants and serve them coffee.

"I'm still going to kill you later." she said out of the corner of her mouth. Kim rolled her eyes (if Mei was going to do anything, she would have by now).

Immediately, almost, the younger girl saw someone attempt to catch her eye. She took a deep, inner breath, and brought over a menu.

"What would you like today, sir?" she asked with a cheerfulness she didn't feel.

* * *

><p>Alfred blew out a puff of dragon-smoke. It sure was cold today, even more so now that the sun had gone down; he hadn't remembered that winter tended to land in a soft <em>whump<em> upon the year and immediately freeze anyone foolish enough to not look at the calendar.

He'd been visiting his family during the winter break; it was always nice to see his parents and his brother. His mom was doting of course ("Didn't call us for a whole two weeks! Al, what if you'd been having drunken parties?" "Oh, you heard about that?" "_Al!_" "Just joking, Ma!") and his dad as taciturn as ever. But seeing Matt was just amazing.

See, when most guys had elder brothers who were either dicks or bossy or just didn't acknowledge your existence, Al had been gifted with an older brother who was _smart_. And sarcastic. And his other half, practically. People used to mess up and say they were twins-something that Al had gleefully adopted and subsequently spread around the school they used to go to, never mind the fact that Matt was a year older than him and had an ID with a different birthday.

His old school bros weren't around (they were, he assumed, either not released from college as early as he was or were too busy meeting up with family). In fact, out of everyone he'd known at his old school, only one person had stayed behind: Mei Ling. And to be completely honest, he hadn't thought that she would be the one to stay behind; she wasn't the smartest person in his year, but she was the most hardworking and was the only reason why he hadn't failed Trigonometry.

His shoes crunched in the fresh snow as fat flakes of it floated serenely from the sky. He puffed a few out of his face and wiped his glasses, the bright shop blurring into a hodgepodge of color. He placed them back onto his nose, blinking in a yellow pool of streetlight. He sat on a bench right next to the restaurant and closed his eyes. It was nice, he thought, to just feel the soft weight of snow falling on you.

* * *

><p>Her shift ended with the customary creepy guy who always seemed to show up asking if she'd like to go to his house. After a firm but gentle refusal, she went back to get changed and Kim started mopping up the blood.<p>

"Has he given up yet?" she asked Kim. She shook her head, and stowed away the cleaning fluid.

"You really have to stop serving him, Mei. It just eggs him on."

She grimaced, putting her tips into her slender wallet. "But he gives me a huge tip afterwards."

"What, still? I would've thought that he'd stop after getting his nose broken for the fifth time."

Mei shook her head. "If anything, they've just gotten bigger." She pulled on her hoodie as she walked out the door, the inside of the maid café nice and toasty compared to the snow outside.

Kim sighed and, when they had to part ways, pulled Mei into a tight hug.

"Whoa, whoa! Is this the end of the world or something?" she asked, half-serious. She could count the number of times Kim had hugged anyone on one hand.

"Just-promise me you won't go around alone after dark? That guy seemed more persistent than he usually was." She replied, withdrawing her arms just as suddenly as she had extended them, as though embarrassed by her break in stoicism. "Please?"

"Sure! Dodging creeps-why not?" she asked, making Kim crack a smile while she walked away.

Mei felt almost as if she'd been imagining the entire encounter with Al the entire day; that was probably why she didn't immediately approach him when she saw the guy waiting outside the restaurant.

Really, he hadn't changed much. He was still tall, still had a way of tweaking her heartstrings (just like many in the grade-she'd been a sympathetic ear into which Al poured his lady-love woes) and still did completely stupid things like jumping up energetically as soon as he'd spotted her, as if he'd been waiting all day for this dinner.

"Hey, Mei! How're you doin' since this morning?" he asked, shaking off the snow he'd accumulated.

She patted some of the snow off of his jacket in the same sisterly way she'd always had. "I'm doing fine. Any reason why you're trying to be a snowman?"

Al grinned and shook off the rest of it, showering the girl in snow. "Watch it!" she joked, punching him (but not really punching him).

"Yeah, yeah. C'mon, let's go eat!" he pumped a fist into the air, drawing stares from passer-by. Mei pushed him towards the restaurant, as quickly as she could. Al mussed her hair up, causing it to stick up on end.

"That's Mei, always lookin' out for my reputation."

She shook her head and patted her hair back down. "Oh, please. You don't even _have_ a reputation."

"They're boring things to have, aren't they?" another quick wink at Mei and he went up to ask for a two-person table, which they got promptly. (This process was probably speeded by the fact that the girl who got them their tables looked suspiciously like the girl who took the night shift. She quickly mouthed 'good luck' to her when Al's back was turned.)

It was a place they'd gone many times back when they were in high school; usually on Fridays. It was cheap and the food was exceptionally good for the price that you paid. The place had no discernable cuisine (except for maybe 'salty') but there was a cheerful atmosphere to it, offset by checkered plastic tablecloths and whitewashed walls plastered with photographs.

Under the warm lighting of the restaurant, Al could notice things that had not been clear in the murky yellow of streetlights. Mei's clothes hung off her, and seemed too thin for winter. Where once they were respectably filled, cheeks were hollowed out by hunger and there were deep purple smudges under her eyes. Her step was heavy and she almost seemed to fall into the plush chair offered.

"Ah, it's been a long time since I've been here!" she exclaimed, looking through the menu. "I don't care what you say, Al, I _will_ pay."

That jolted him from his silent appraisal. "Oh, please, Mei. I owe you one!"

"Yeah, sure you do. Seriously, I'll pick up the bill-"

With a gesture, Alfred called over one of the waiters. "Don't let her pay, no matter what." he said distinctly.

"What! That isn't fair-!"

"Sure." The waiter winked at Mei. "Lucky girl. Try to hang on to this one, huh?"

"Wait, we're not-"

The waiter gave a big, beaming smile and loped to the cash register, where he proceeded to tell every server that passed not to let Mei pick up the bill. She lowered her burning face into her hands, shaking from embarrassment and not a little bit of mirth.

She muttered, "I almost forgot how stubborn you were."

Al merely replied, "Don't try the trick where you order the cheapest thing on the menu. You look like you haven't had food in _ages._"

* * *

><p>Mei staggered to her last job, still groggy from her lack of sleep. Al had had to wake her up not once, but twice during the course of the meal (which still gave her horrified chills when she remembered-how could she have been so rude?)<p>

Thankfully, this one was in her own apartment building, presided over by her own landlord. Who absolutely loved to rub it into her face that she was living on _his _property, and refused to let her actually buy the flat she and Soo shared.

_Not like anyone would like this dump,_ she grumbled to herself, making her way past dingy yellow walls and cracked concrete floors. The bare lighting made her squint and almost bumped into Mr. Wang when he came out of his office to greet her.

"Good evening, little sister. Punctual as always, aru." He always called her little sister-she couldn't tell if it was an insult or a compliment. Mr. Wang wanted everyone to call him big brother, which she drew the line at. Not even countless threats of eviction could change her mind, and he forgave this fault in her eventually when Yong Soo caved.

"Hello, Mr. Wang." she replied, picking out a mop and bucket. "How are your flowers doing?"

Mr. Wang grimaced. "Poorly, aru. All this frost is bad for them." her landlord watched as she whisked the soap and water briskly in the bucket. Then he retreated into his office, which connected to his rooms.

Twirling her mop, she slapped it wetly on the concrete and started to swab. She was lucky that her landlord accepted this as part of her payment towards her and Soo's rent; nothing would have persuaded him to take in the two penniless foster siblings otherwise.

As she worked, her tired muscles screaming for rest, she amused herself by watching all the water get sucked up by the thirsty concrete floor-until the shiny coat was nothing but dull gray again.

* * *

><p>Yawning, Mei crawled into bed, closing her eyes. Her legs were growling at her in pain, and she could distinctly feel her feet peeling themselves in pain. But tomorrow was Sunday, and everything would look better in the morning. The clock face read 2:25 when she finally fell asleep.<p>

_"I'm not yours to give." Her mouth made the words, but it felt like someone else was speaking. A man was standing against the sun, and it was too bright to see what he looked like. A rough hand at her shoulder stayed her comments as they went closer to the sun-man._

_"You are not mine to give, that's true, aru. Now you are _his._" said the same rough man who was pushing her. She started backing up, away from the terrible graceful silhouette. The silhouette drew his sword and gave chase as she ran into the jungle._


	2. i asked my breath to be taken

Light hit her full in the face when she woke. So did a flurry of snow. As did the unpleasant sensation of trickling water.

For a few seconds, she screwed her eyes tight shut. Nonono, she was _not _going to get up and see that their cardboard, taped three deep to the gaping holes in their windows, had failed them yet again. That would not only be _cruel_, it would mean getting more cardboard. Thicker ones. And that would mean Mei and Yong Soo scrounging through the recycle bins in the hopes they would find big slabs of cardboard.

"Please, please, please." Gritting her teeth, Mei threw off her blanket. Instantly a shower of cold enveloped her.

"Oh fucking-ow, ow, shit-" she yelped, pulling the blanket off Yong Soo as well. It was piled with snow fully two inches deep, and she and Soo had been soaked through.

She glared at the clock, daring it to give her a bad time. It was obediently pointing its hour hand at nine.

"Oh for the love of-" she spat. Today was her one break day! She _was_ going to spend it sleeping until eleven!

Glancing at Yong Soo, Mei came to a decision. She rolled him over to the one relatively dry spot on the bed and hung the blanket from the ceiling in the bathroom, letting it drip onto the bathtub.

Which reminded her. She needed a bath desperately. But that would have to wait, she thought, dourly sizing up the duvet.

Striding back into their bedroom/kitchen/what have you, Mei saw the problem immediately. The very top layers of cardboard had peeled off, leaving a hole in the wall roughly the size of her head. Sighing, she took the now sodden pieces of cardboard. Thankfully they hadn't disintegrated yet, so could be taped up again with relative ease.

However, when she got level with the hole, what she took as a white building was actually the sky. Mei frowned and looked around. Everywhere she looked was white with snow-and it looked incredibly deep, so deep she could just make out the tops of cars where they were being dug out, and flurries of snow obstructed her vision.

Which meant…

"Soo! Soo!" she bounced on the bed. "Soo, it's a snow day!"

Yong Soo grumbled articulately. "grasffffideaaa"

Leaning into his ear, Mei said "It's a snow day! No one is going to work, no way!"

The response was buried into the mattress as Yong Soo turned his back to her. Mei actually didn't mind for once and taped up the cardboard in excitement. That meant that they could spend the entire day relaxing-!

Cleaning out the snow (after getting Yong Soo up, which was never an easy feat on Sunday) she beat out the bedspread and wrung as much moisture as possible. The blanket was squished out to its best ability and left to dry with the mattress and their clothes. Sitting under their spare (and dry, thankfully) blanket, they discussed going over to check on Xiang, but decided not to. He could handle himself, and they had asked the neighbors to look in on him after all.

"I hope that Kirkland guy will get him something to eat." worried Mei. "Hopefully his roommate will remember. He's big into food, right?"

He snorted. "Pfft. That stupid beardo would probably molest him." Rolling over, he stole most of the blanket away from Mei.

"Oi, give that back." she rolled into Yong Soo, and poked him (hard) in the stomach, which loosened his grip with a startled curse. And triumphantly, Mei took the entire blanket.

Which left Yong Soo in his spare set of summer clothes.

Flopping back onto the bed, he sighed. "Fine, you win this time. But if I freeze, _you're_ paying the rent."

"No fair!" she protested, throwing half the blanket onto him. "Here, we'll share."

* * *

><p>"Okay, lunch. Where will we get that…" wondered Mei. She shook out the remaining rice left in their pot and resolved to buy more soon.<p>

She peered out a tiny crack in their cardboard defenses. The snowstorm was letting up a bit, but it was obvious they didn't have to go to work at all for at least a day.

She went out onto the balcony and caught enough snow for a potful of rice and waited for it to melt into water while Yong Soo took a bath.

She was just putting it on a burner when he emerged, fully dressed once more, and with considerably less grime than beforehand. "All yours, sis!"

"Watch the rice!" was her reply. After a few minutes of vigorous scrubbing and hunger pangs (though not as much as usual, which was probably because of yesterday) Mei was fresh-faced and energetic.

And there was a steaming bowl of congee, she really thought that life was looking up.


	3. then the forgetmenots their petals red

Mei had been halfway through her shift at the convenience store. In fact, she could perfectly recall the weight of the receipt in her hands-the two coins and one paper note in it-that she was passing over to the customer when Yong Soo exploded into the shop with the force of ten hurricanes.

And she could remember the slow second that oozed its way between Yong Soo arriving and Yong Soo taking her hand and running out of the place, to the bewilderment of the customer.

But that was the least of Mei's concerns.

"Where are we _going_, Soo?" she growled. "My boss probably _saw that, _and-"

He shook his head. He kept sprinting, and caught the bus just in time, collapsing into the seat. She sat next to him and fingered a loose thread on the chair, grimly contemplating the loss of her job. Damn, and it paid pretty well. Hopefully there was another convenience store somewhere-or Mr. Wang could let her whitewash the roof for this month's rent as well as his walls…

Soo leaned into her arm, a warm weight. Mei almost wanted to push him off for effectively losing her job for her, but when she put her hand on his shoulder to shove he caught it. Startled, she looked over at him.

During the winter Yong Soo was usually vibrant, colorful, or at the very least pretended to be. Like a bird he rubbed fake happiness in green and blue on his dull plumage. But his entire body crumpled in on itself, as if some great hand had crushed him in its fist. And yet it wasn't a malignant, angry sort of crumpling-it was a slump, it was a sign of defeat.

And it scared Mei to her bones.

Not even when Yong Soo had been adopted by her parents had he been so down. Not even when their parents had _died_ had he looked so sad. A horrible, creeping suspicion was seeping through the confusion and she blocked it out.

"Soo, what's wrong?"

The forced smile was almost painful. "N-nothing. Hopefully."

"Bullshit. Tell me what's wrong." She cast around mentally. The rent had been paid last week, so there couldn't be any monetary problems...and he didn't have a girlfriend…

But Soo just shook his head again. "It's probably going to be fine."

But she could tell that he was trying to convince himself more than her.

Ten minutes later, she stepped into the hospital with the feeling of numbness slowly starting to take. The sterile white halls smelt of plastic and medicine and cough drops, and it was too clean. The lobby didn't look like a speck of dust had ever been adventurous enough to even _think_ of setting up shop.

_The orderlies were restraining the three children, trying to remove them from the bloody operation room that they'd stumbled into. And all she did was scream and scream and scream while her two brothers beat a path to the bed because that wasn't her mom or dad_

Arthur Kirkland stood up in the waiting room on their arrival. "Oh, thank God you're here." he nudged his partner-she couldn't remember his name-and he woke, startled, before settling. They were both the worse for wear, Arthur with a bandage around his forearm and the other man nursing an ankle swollen with patches of cloth.

"How did you get hurt?" she asked. "That looks terrible!"

Confused, the blond shook his head. "No, no, I'm no nearly as bad as-"

"She doesn't know yet." supplied Yong Soo.

Mei frowned. "Doesn't know _what,_ Soo?"

_then the nurse tried to set them up with foster parents but no, that wasn't what was going to happen, she was the eldest and she was going to look after her little brothers_

Arthur blinked twice before his face wore the utmost amount of pity a human could wear, and then some. The bearded guy tutted and said something stern to him, wincing as he tried to get up and hobbled to the receptionist, chatting briefly in a different language. Out of the corner of her eye she could see a nurse running towards the receptionist, but paid it no mind.

"I still don't know what's going on." Mei said loudly.

The nurse crashed into her, causing Mei to jump a foot in the air. Unperturbed, the nurse bounced off and gripped Yong Soo's arm in a pincer grip and led them both to a ward. She paused just before sliding the door open, looking at both of them with wide, solemn eyes.

"I'm very sorry for your loss."

There was a part of Mei that had already known what had happened.

In truth, when presented with the evidence of someone's corpse, the human preconceptions of life after death are blown away. How can one see a future after death when the body is still in evidence? Only a truly devout person-or a truly desperate person-can cling to this hope.

Mei was neither.

She slumped into a chair at the bedside of her brother. The room started to spin, the very air sucked out of it. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. She couldn't do anything. Mei took Xiang's cold hand.

His eyes had been closed, but even the clean white wrappings couldn't disguise the drawn, pained look on his face, and the shiny red burns that crusted his left cheek. Xiang had died in the hospital, she was to learn later. He had died just minutes before they had arrived. Arthur and Francis (that was his name, she was to learn) were not allowed to see him after they had rushed him to the hospital under the ruling that only next of kin could stay with the emergency room patients. The nurses were not in the room when he had 'passed on'.

Xiang's apartment building had had a gas leak yesterday during the blizzard and somehow caught fire. Xiang had borne the brunt of the explosion. The residents of the building had had to dig him out of the wreckage and tried to nurse him while waiting for the snowstorm to abate.

Eventually it did, and now-

Yong Soo made a soft, keening sound, shakily passing a hand over Xiang's peaceful face. It looked like he was just asleep. He was just asleep, right?

"Xiang. Xiang, please wake up." she gently pressed his shoulder. "Xiang. Please, it's not funny." It was only the day before yesterday that she'd seen him. "Wake up, Xiang, it's past eight. You're going to be late for s-school."

"Mei-" Yong Soo looked up, with wet cheeks. "Mei, he's not-"

She shook her head fiercely. "No, he can't be! He-he can't, he's got exams in a few weeks and he wanted me t-to help him." Her breath was hitching and there was a prickly feeling in her eyes.

Yong Soo turned to the bed again, where the boy was swamped in white sheets, and pulled it over Xiang's face. "W-we can't hold on to him like this. He wouldn't have wanted us to."

"I promised Mom and Dad, I promised them when they went away that I'd look after you two!" she exploded, stomping her foot. "I was g-going-going-"

He stood up, his face crumpled from the effort of trying to be strong. She beat his chest and screamed and cursed Xiang, and cursed Soo, and cursed their parents and the world and Al and Kim and Mr. Wang and the neighbors and anyone who ever really mattered. Angrily, she rubbed at her cheeks to stop the flow of water, and then her eyes, and then her heart, for breaking.

* * *

><p>Because of overcrowding, there was an unspoken law in the city that you should bury your dead the same day they died, before the corpse is incinerated or dumped in order to make space for the next person. The wealthy could afford keeping the space for their beloveds, and often made a point of it. But the bribes to keep the bodies intact were so numerous and confusing that Mei and Soo were forced to give Xiang a funeral only five hours after they had seen the body.<p>

They emptied their emergency savings. The customary white and black were to be had, with a casket and an appropriate place to bury him. The announcement had to be sent over to his school. Mei volunteered for that, and with a firm hand made Mr. Wang look after Yong Soo while she went.

There is a certain pallor to the atmosphere when someone you love dies. Likewise there is an emptiness of feeling. Funerals are not only for those who wish to pay their final respects; they are there to be organized and thought out, for a mindless repetition of chores that take your mind off of what you are actually doing everything _for._ You can put off feeling by saying that you have to do _this_ and _that_ and are the guests going to arrive on time, and what do you get for the banquet?

But the mindlessness is broken when you have to tell someone about the funeral, because you can _see_ the break, you can _see_ the hurt and the sudden onrush of understanding. You can feel their pity.

"We have called you all in today for a joyless assembly. To the grief of everyone here, I am sure, one of our fellow students has passed on. His sister has been kind enough to invite whoever wishes to pay their last respects to come to the funeral…now."

Here was a subtle barb as, on principle, the director of the school hated a change in schedule. Mei nodded in thanks and took the lectern. She could tell by the ripples of murmurs in the crowd that they already knew whose sister she was but she really couldn't care less.

"Xiang Ling has been involved in an accident." Mei took a deep breath, held, and let it out. "Anyone who wants to come must leave now and meet me in the graveyard on Orchid Street."

Then, turning, she shook hands with the director and moved off the stage to let him carry on with other announcements, running out and faced the northern wind before realizing that her tears had turned to ice in the cold. She rubbed the crystals off, the raw skin stinging from the rough material of her jacket.

"Are you okay?"

She froze, peeking through her sleeve. "Al?"

"Present." There was a quick flashy smile before it disappeared, replaced by worry. "But what's got you, Mei? Something wrong?"

_It never gets easier, does it?_ She thought. Next time someone died she was going to rent a plane and put a message in the sky: 'Xiang is dead. Stop talking to me.'

But it was Alfred, so she nodded and said, as calmly as she could manage, "My brother died today."

Except she must not have been calm enough (she wished she could borrow Kim's face) because suddenly (and with a loud _whumph_)

* * *

><p>The funeral was quiet. The somber checker-boarded guests said their respects one by one to the casket, as it slowly lowered into the sod, flurries of new snow burnishing it clean and white. The inscription was lost to the world as the grave bearers shoveled the hard-packed, frozen<p>

* * *

><p>"Why do we still go to these things, Peter?" the girl muttered, squeezing his hand. "It gets harder and harder each time."<p>

Peter looked over the guests. "I promised Xiang, Zoe. Remember? He asked us, if anything ever happened to him-"

Zoe gave a quiet sigh and leaned heavily on his black-clad shoulder. "I know, I know. Just trying to remember things."

"We wrote everything down…so we should be okay." he bit his lip as the coffin sank gracefully into the earth. "Get ready."


End file.
